by an MMM Associate Ireland 09.05.2022
Today has been one of the hardest.
We buried my darling nephew, John, who at the age of 43 took his own life.
The devastation has rippled through not only his immediate family but also to the wider community who felt that they too had lost a husband, a son, a brother and a dear friend.
The church was packed to overflowing…maybe a first since lockdown and I felt the intrusion of so many. I wanted to be alone with my family and share our grief and loss.
Tonight, I have struggled with many questions as to why did this happen? I know it is not for us to understand but to accept, but still I struggle.
It reminds me of those who asked, ‘Where was God when the Twin Towers fell?’ The answer, ‘He was there, with you on the stairwell.’
I know he was there today but tonight I am still struggling, overwhelmed with sadness and grief. I asked myself, what can I do to ease this and the answer came. Read the MMM blogs.
I hadn’t done this for a few days, I suppose since I had heard the news of John’s tragic death.
His vital threads and connections had snapped and his life like that of the spider’s web had collapsed. However I was reminded of God’s hand in the weaving of all our lives.
In another blog where we lift up our eyes to the mountain I read not only of my utter dependence on God but also on those with whom we walk on this journey of life.
Those with whom I have chosen to walk include my extended family of the MMMs.
There have been words of comfort, a rethinking and a knowing that I can reach out to those whose strength and resilience will nourish my spirit.