MMM Communications Ireland 25.01.2023
Extract from a tribute by Aine McEvoy from some of the people who knew her. First published in MMM Magazine 1992
Mary Phelan, Matron of the hospital in Drogheda from 1943 – 1973.
I met Mother Mary first in 1941. One day she walked into the National Maternity Hospital where I was labour ward Sister. I had the erroneous idea that she was one of these large over-powering Superiors. I was really taken in when I met Mother Mary as she was the very opposite of the visual mental picture I had of her. She was one of the most charitable women I ever met and that is how I will always remember her. I remember her not for all she has done in Drogheda, or all she has done for building up the Congregation, but for her tremendous charity.
Two lots of people stand out in my mind that she was so very charitable towards. The first of these were the unmarried mother and secondly alcoholics. She has done a tremendous amount in a very quiet way for both of these groups of people who needed help at the time. She was able to give practical help on account of having the hospital. If she wanted to do it in any other way, she got somebody else to help. Mother Mary could always get things done. I think perhaps that apart from her spirituality she was a bit hypnotic.
She was a very feminine woman with a charming manner. She was never too busy to see anybody who wanted to see her, particularly anybody in trouble. She was amazingly good that way. I have enjoyed my association with her because I have always had very close contact with her. I feel that her hospital was an extremely pleasant place to work in for the simple reason that there was nobody to interfere with you. It was a private hospital and there was no Board of Governors or anything like that. Anything I wanted to do, Mother Mary never interfered in any way.
MMM Communications Ireland 23.01.2023
Extract from a tribute by Aine McEvoy from some of the people who knew her. First published in MMM Magazine 1992
Fr. Hugh Kelly SJ, (1886 – 1974), a life-long friend of Mother Mary
She had a woman’s instinct and a woman’s insight and a woman’s conviction which is stronger than anything. She felt she was doing a work that God wanted to be done. He gave her that idea and she was going to do it.
She never reasoned about it. Difficulties never bothered or troubled her. No matter what it costs she would do it well. Could you give a shorter training to a Sister? No, we will do the best. When you do a thing, do it well.
She was a very attractive woman and very feminine. She was refined and delicate and a lady to her fingertips. She looked well always in anything she wore. She had a fair complexion and fair hair. She had a wonderful way with people, even clerics.
She went out to Nigeria at the invitation of that great missionary, Bishop Shanahan. He was one of our great modern Irish men who has never been recognised. He really was the spearhead in our modern missionary effort, which, to my mind, is the biggest thing we have done since the explosion after St. Patrick’s time. When we get the faith, we give it and I think that, since 1916, the missionary explosion has been an amazing thing in this country.
Mother Mary was invalided home from Nigeria. In fact, the doctors told her she would never be strong again and she should put out of her mind any work and any idea of a religious vocation. It would be impossible. She was to be a permanent invalid.
I used to visit her home regularly at Greenbank in Monkstown (Dublin). We would have long talks. She always had the idea of founding a Congregation on new lines. She had seen the desperate medical condition of the people of Nigeria and the appalling loss of life of little children and the suffering of the mothers. She felt that something must be done. You cannot merely give the Word of God to these people. You must make life worth living for them.
That would be a splendid act of charity to them in such dire need. She had this idea in her mind but it seemed an impossible thing to achieve.
Sisters were not allowed by the Church to do maternity and obstetrical work. There was nothing to be done, but she hoped and hoped. She inspired a few girls and gave her ideas to them. They began to meet often and have visions and dreams.
By chance, she was asked by the Prior of the Benedictine Monastery in Glenstal to take over the care of the school and kitchen and in return the group would get spiritual education from one of the monks.
Mother Mary herself was attracted to Benedictine spirituality. It has a certain quiet and peace with a simple kind of prayer that was hers and that she gave to others. It was a contemplative prayer with an attachment to the Divine Office and to the Liturgy of the Church.
Bishop James Moynagh (1903 – 1985): Bishop of Calabar, Nigeria
I came home from Nigeria in 1934 looking for just the kind of help Marie Martin had in mind. I met her and she asked me if I would sponsor her medical missionary Congregation. I accepted and I suppose I was influenced by the extraordinary faith and courage with which this frail person spoke of doing this work for God.
I returned to Calabar, and it was proposed that a Sister of the Holy Child Jesus who had come to Nigeria in 1930 would act as Novice Mistress and give accommodation to Miss Martin and the girls who were to come with her.
I had a cable from Monsignor Whitney from KIltegan in December 1936 saying that Marie Martin and two companions were sailing to West Africa. They arrived in January 1937.
In that same year, Archbishop Riberi, who was Apostolic Delegate, was visiting all the missions in Nigeria. Mother Mary Martin and her companions, Mother Magdalen O’Rourke and my own sister, Mother Joseph, who had joined the group were already in the care of the Holy Child Sisters. I was pleased to find that Archbishop Riberi was enthusiastic about the whole project. He said I was to go ahead and send an appeal to Rome asking permission for approval of the foundation of the Medical Missionaries of Mary. Permission to found the Congregation and permission for Mother Mary to make her Profession came from Rome in a very short period.
In the meantime, Marie Martin had become extremely ill and was in the Government Hospital in Port Harcourt. I went down to Port Harcourt and she made her Religious Profession while ill in bed in the Government Hospital.
by Sr. Sheila Campbell MMM Ireland 21.01.2023
The other day I was down by the river. As it flows through the town it is tidal, and sometimes large stretches of the riverside are on view. It is home to many kinds of birds, but my attention was drawn to the seagulls. In the picture there are many birds, but not easy to see at first glance. Why? Because, with their brown and grey mottled backs, they blend into the colours of their environment.
Now this is a necessary protection for the young birds. They go squatting down into the soft sandy soil and become almost invisible. They are safer from predators. But as adults they need to grow their feathers, develop their characteristic white colour and venture out into the sea.
sn’t this the same growing process we all need to go through. And with us it doesn’t depend on age! Sometimes it is easier just to keep your head down and go along with things, rather than stick your head out above the parapet.
Recently I heard the story of Icarus again. We all remember the part where his father warns him not to fly too close to the sun. If he gets too close, the wax holding the feathers on his wings will melt and he will fall into the sea and drown. But few of us remember the other piece of advice his father gives him. “Do not fly too close to the sea. The water will make your wings soggy, and you will not be able to fly.” I suspect there are more of us who “fly too low”, thinking this is the safe choice, rather than taking the risk of venturing out into the world.
In our MMM Constitutions we use the phrase “the MMM adventure”, and it is correct. As missionaries we are called to get up and go, proclaim how wonderful God is and how much we are loved. If we hide ourselves in the riverbanks of this world, we are not being true to our missionary call.
Now, I am not promoting hubris and self-promotion. As in all aspects of life, balance is perfection. We may never totally attain this balance, but it is worth striving for, isn’t it?
by Vera Grant AMMM Ireland 19.01.2923
I was nervous and yet excited to be going back. I hadn’t expected to be away so long. Four weeks seemed a long time and I missed going to Mass.
Yes there was Mass online and it sufficed in so far as I could watch, say the prayers and sing along with the folk group or the choir depending on which Mass I was ready for but I just wanted to be there.
I found myself watching those going up to receive Communion and I felt so removed from it all. You really would have thought there was something seriously wrong with me but it was only knee replacement surgery – four weeks to the day.
From September I hadn’t been able to walk to Mass but gave in and drove myself. The walk down had always been a quiet time to reflect, to think of the readings and to get myself in to the right frame of mind to be present in the celebration of The Eucharist.
There was something else that was missing online…there was no Communion, no spiritual nourishment and an absence of offering myself in the outstretched hands.
I had two trial attempts walking with the crutch to make sure I could manage not only the going down but the coming back up the hill. The second effort was much better than the first when I was able to ease myself into the pew as opposed to flopping exhaustedly on to the seat.
I didn’t stay long, maybe seven or eight minutes to ease the stiffness and to thank God for making it back in to his house. The house where I always f
eel welcome and at one with the world.
Today in spite of the sun shining it was much colder than I had anticipated but I was determined to go. No driving for six weeks so walking was my only option. Allowing myself an extra ten minutes I was there in good time and was surprised to see so many at a weekday Mass.
The chat was lively, all wanting to know what had happened – had I fallen or been in an accident were the obvious questions. I felt a bit of a fraud in saying that it was nothing as dramatic but something a lot more ordinary.
The chapel was decorated for Christmas and was so much nicer than on the computer. The warmth emanated from the heating and the light shining in through the stained glass complimented the lights twinkling on the tree. It was truly magical and I breathed in the joy of having made it and being present.
by Nadia Ramoutar MMM Communications Coordinator Ireland 17.01.2023
I am fortunate to have great friends in my life. I think that they are some of my most treasured gifts. In the past few years working for the MMMs as the Communications Coordinator, I have had the opportunity to reflect on many aspects of what makes life better not just for me, but for other people.
I realise that some people think that physical objects, more money, nice holidays or a new car might make their life better, but what I have learned from working with the MMM Sisters is that most joy comes from experiences not stuff. The relationships we have are our treasure and friendship is actually an extremely important aspect of a healthy life.
Sr Sheila Campbell and I work very closely together in our roles and I have learned so much from her in so many ways. She is very fond of Sr Joan Chittister and, as a result, I have also become fond of her.
“Friendship is the linking of spirits. It is a spiritual act, not a social one. It is the finding of the remainder of the self. It is knowing a person before you even meet them,” Joan Chittister once wrote. I think this is such a beautiful quote. There is no doubt that spiritual friendship is something much deeper than being an acquaintance. With billions of people on the planet, it is amazing how we have chemistry and bonds with some people and not with others. There are those who seem to speak the language of our heart. Two of my favourite spiritual friends to study are Sr Francis of Assisi and St Clare.
In the Irish tradition, there is a term known as Anam Cara which translates to mean “soul friend”. It refers to a sacred relationship that holds connection through authenticity, trust and mutual respect. Irish writer John O’Donohue brought the term to the world in his short life. He shared that a unique and deeply personal connection will make a person stronger together than they are apart.
In his book Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, O’Donohue examines the mystery of friendship.
“In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship…In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam cara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of life. With the anam cara you could share your inner-most self, your mind, and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. ”
The joy is not just in having an anam cara, but also in being an anam cara. We get as much if not more from being a sacred friend than in having one. Loving another person and accepting them unconditionally is a gift to both the giver and the receiver. As we rush through our busy worlds, let us pause and honour our true friends. Let us open our hearts and mind to being an even better friend than we were before. The world could do with more sacred bonds.
by Sr. Sheila Campbell MMM Ireland 15.01.2023
When you live with the same people for a long time, sometimes you get bored with the same small talk. This is when you have to look beyond the humdrum daily routine chat and re-discover the value of each person. This happened to me recently.
“What a fantastic bunch of women we are!”, I thought to myself after listening to a story from one of our Sisters. She was telling me of an incident that happened many years ago in Nigeria. This Sister, whom I will call Ann was a nurse working in a small rural hospital in Nigeria with a young Sister Doctor. I will call her Mary. The reason I am not giving the real names is that neither would like to take credit for their courage and ingenuity.
One day a patient came in with severe respiratory problems. He could not get any oxygen into his lungs and was in danger of death. Sr. Mary knew she had to perform a tracheostomy, that is an incision directly into the windpipe. With this in place they could insert an oxygen tube and save the man. But there was a problem. Sr. Mary was a young doctor and had never done this surgery before. She consulted Sr. Ann, her senior in age and more experienced in Nigeria than herself.
“You can do it”, Sr. Ann encouraged. “I will help you.” Sr. Ann consulted a textbook she had and found out where the incision should be made. But, of course, this small hospital barely had electricity and nothing as sophisticated as a photocopier. So, she sat down and drew the picture in front of her. Armed with this paper, off they both went to the patient. The operation was done, and the patient survived.
I was really impressed with this story. It was told with such simplicity it masked the fact that these two women were very courageous and showed great adaptability, flexibility and a great team spirit.
As I sat there listening, I was aware that Sr. Ann was telling me because she was so proud of what Sr. Mary had achieved. Sr. Mary was very ill at this time. But I was proud of both of them, and proud to be belong to this Congregation of valiant women religious.
by Sr. Maria Borda, MMM Malta/Tanzania 13.01.2023
My first taste of Africa was when I was blessed to spend two months in Dareda Hospital, Tanzania, in 1979, as a medical student. The experience strengthened my resolve to study hard so that I could get out ‘on the field’ as soon as possible! I returned to Tanzania in 1984, still a newly qualified doctor. At that time, I was known as “Binti” – Swahili for “young lady”. Things change over time. I am now “Bibi”, a granny.
As a young doctor, I had my apprehensions, following the basic tenet of Medicine, ‘Prima Non Nocere’…. Firstly, DO NO HARM. Gradually I moved out of that timid space to realise that God could use every grain of talent and knowledge that I could offer Him, and He would increase and multiply it as with the loaves and fishes, for the good of my patients.
Of course, I was initiated into health care in the Tropics by MMM Sister-Doctors, nurse-midwives, Pharmacists, Lab technicians, Physiotherapists and others who preceded me on the field. But I also returned to my books. The Oxford Handbooks and Hamilton Bailey’s ‘Surgery’ became my Bibles. Nowadays, young doctors, even in the rural hospitals, go straight to Google!
I remember one incident where the books did not help. One Sunday morning, a procession of men, young and old, started coming into the Hospital. Each sported a wound caused by a stray leopard. It seems that it had aged, lost its teeth, and got separated from its pack. What to do?
I phoned the police. Who else would I phone? They thankfully got in touch with the Game Wardens who appeared after an interval. Sadly, the beautiful animal had to be shot in self-defence by an armed watchman.
Over the years I have seen many changes in health care and watched how the improved communications and general development have brought great improvements to our care of patients. One example I could give is the use of mobile phones. How many agonising minutes had I had to spend before with women who needed an urgent Caesarean Section but would not agree, even with severe labour pains, without her husband’s consent. Now, the mother usually carried the husband’s phone number on a little piece of paper, screwed into a corner of her wrapper. I would phone him and explain the serious risks. Usually there was no problem, I would get the go-ahead, and hopefully present the mother with a bouncing baby
Rural electricity supply and blood bank fridges have been another very positive development. We can now store donated blood safely at least for some days. The HIV epidemic revolutionised blood donation. It expedited the development of testing for HIV and other diseases and taught us how to minimise the need for blood transfusions.
Information technology also revolutionised our lives, mostly to the better but with a few headaches along the way! It helps in storing and accessing easily important documents. I can get email replies to my medical queries within hours instead of weeks. The nearest IT experts are a few hours’ drive away, but now many younger members of staff can solve my IT challenges. There was a time when all my emails came out on a purple background, for weeks, until a visiting medical student found a solution to get rid of that sobering colour.
Telemedicine is another great blessing. The network broadened from my personal contacts to the iPath consultations which also gave me speedy responses. One example of how this helped I will share. One family we looked after sadly had two successive neonatal losses. Online, an embryologist consulted an epidemiologist for me, and helped me to counsel the parents. They tried again, and this time they had a live and healthy female baby.
The same former colleague in Malta, now Professor of Embryology there, enlisted me in a ZOOM meeting on rare Gynae Cancers. These facilities keep me from getting too rusty.
Now I am known as “Bibi”. I am at the stage of being shown ‘my’ children’s children, because many that God enabled me to help with their fertility now bring their daughter or daughter-in-law to the clinic and present her as the baby that I had helped to deliver a generation ago. So, even though I never went through physical labour, my labour by proxy has yielded lasting fruits.
I have now scaled down my workload, from a busy hospital where I might be still at the Obs/Gynae clinic at 9 pm, then called to theatre for a complicated delivery at midnight; to a dispensary where there are no deliveries, no admissions, no surgery, no night call. I am grateful that I can still follow mothers through difficult pregnancies, and diagnose, and refer early, women with diseases such as cancer of the cervix.
Having moved to a less high-powered environment, I am grateful that I have time to stop and stare at the blossoming trees, the birds and butterflies, the beautiful mountain which greets me every morning. This scaling down is acceptable here because I am a “Bibi”.
by Angela Macnamara Ireland 11.01. 2023
Editor’s Note: This article was first published in the MMM Magazine in 1975
It is quite extraordinary to consider that each and every human being me meet in the course of even one day makes some change, however fractional, on our lives. When we consider that even a smile from us contributes to the quality of life of another human being, surely we should think of the enormous responsibility that is ours, minute by minute: the responsibility to love.
In our society approximately one person in 400 is an alcoholic, each of whom influences the lives of about five other people. It is estimated that two and a half times as many children go to bed hungry, and up to seven times as many people live in poverty. No research has been done on the number of people who are lonely. I venture to suggest, that if figures were available, they would topple the other statistics I have mentioned. Loneliness is our greatest problem. Numbers of people are deprived of love, not accepted or understood or listened to, and are, therefore, unable to grow. Perhaps it will be of these lonely people that Christ will be speaking when He says to you and to me: “I was in prison and you did not visit me.”
We all have to grapple with the problem of loneliness in our lives, but it is not our own loneliness that we must seek to assuage, but that of our neighbour. In so doing, we learn the meaning of love. Love is a going out from oneself to enrich the lives of others.
The process of becoming human is intertwined with the art of loving, and this must start within the family. The family is an intimate group of people, learning together the art of enriching the lives of others. How significant is the day a baby smiles for the first time: how exciting when he speaks his first words. These are the beginning of the mystery whereby a unique human being is beginning to tell the world ‘Who he is’. Words are sacred, but more sacred are the influences that stir the soul and give birth to the words. Behind the words each of us speaks today are other words, other people whose influence in our lives has made us what we are today.
Whether we want to or not, we teach our children by everything we do: our reactions to on another and to them and to our neighbours, to all the situations created in the home. We cannot NOT teach our children. Rearing a family, is in a very exciting and real way, cooperating in the creative work of God.
Why then is family life so devalued today? I think it is because we have reversed values, making non-essentials important. We are dishonest in the way we prepare our children for any vocation to love. Motherhood is looked upon as a drudgery. Many people feel that they have no alternative but to opt for material growth and join the ‘rat-race’. Most of our problems, both of parents and children, stem from striving to control our own lives and destinies, instead of allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to work in and through us. We don’t pray, we fear, and we are excessively anxious and joyless. A flourishing Church is dependent on the quality of the individual families that constitute the whole Church. A loving family, in which Christianity is a way of life rather than an optional extra, is not only an asset to their immediate community, but to the country as a whole. We are challenged, as families, to re-Christianize our country, to hear the words of Christ in our own homes: “Look on the fields, they are already white, ripe for the harvest”. No new start, however humble, is too small. Today is not too soon.
by Sr. Maria Jose da Silva MMM Brazil 09.01.2023
This theme has been in my mind since I started to reflect on my own life for the last two years between community commitments and the care of my mother. My mother is widowed, elderly, infirm, and her two daughters do not live near her home. Between June/July 2022 I was at home caring for her.
This time it was different because, since earlier in the year, I have been carrying the role as MMM Area Leader for the Americas. My responsibility has doubled. I have Team Meetings via Zoom, and others follow through with the decisions we make. So, in fact, this time the holiday was mixed with many activities, in the house, caring for my mother and taking whatever was necessary to run my role as Area Leader. This time the two women in the gospel were very present to my own experience. As I reflect on them, I see that when Jesus came to visit them, both must make a choice and allow it to happen. Mary chose to sit close to Jesus and listen to him. Martha continued her work in the house which was also necessary. From this experience what did I learn?
I learnt not to become like a magician that tries to be in many places at the same time. Life needs to be embraced with deep care for the one cared for and for the one who is the caregiver. In my role as leader, I am aware of the importance of being respectful and committed with those I said ‘yes’ to carry this responsibility of leading. Only with the grace from God and the open heart am I able to take the newness of each day as it comes. To be a leader demands integrity and integration with each simple action in one’s life.
At the end of the day, I am accountable before God. To carry the Area responsibility is part of my mission and to care for my mother is also important for me at this time in my life since she is vulnerable and dependent on care. It is challenging but at the same time, my heart comes home fulfilled after being able to assure all that my responsibilities are done properly.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42
I am challenged to be able to listen to what is most important at this time in my own life, but also there is a need to be able to be both Mary and Martha in different times. They are very important and this conflict of being the two is part of every woman’s life.
by Sr. Sheila Campbell MMM Ireland 07.01.2023
Drogheda, the town where I live, has many churches, both old and new. That means that during the day I hear a lot of bells! There is the chiming of the hours, the half hours, and yes, one of the bells, I think in the town centre, even chimes every 15 minutes. Then there are the chimes to remind people to go to Mass – rung about ten minutes before each ceremony, the bells of the Angelus at 12 noon and 6pm, and finally, the bells tolling slowly to tell people that there has just been a funeral, and that the hearse is on its way to the cemetery.
I will admit that there are times when all these bells just get too much, especially if I am trying to concentrate on something. But mostly I manage to ignore them. When I am in a particularly good mood, I welcome the bells as an invitation to continually be in the present moment. I am called to respond to God right here and now and not drift off into some idealised plan for future action. The bells are insistent. They are a constant reminder – life is happening now.
I think that is the reason so many religions use the chiming of a bell in their ceremonies and why so many religious houses still use bells as a call to prayer. Yes, of course, there is more modern technology. We could all receive Whatsapp messages, for example, or buzzers on our cell phones. But bells have never lost their appeal. When I was in upstate New York for a sabbatical programme with Dominican Sisters there was a windchime on the front porch. I loved it. The gentle tinkling was calming and relaxing. So today I want to be in a good space and welcome the bells.
Oops, 12 noon Angelus bells – time to go to lunch!
