by Sr. Suzanne Ryder RSM Ireland 08.12.2024
“Stupid question…” began my friend, as he lowered my suitcase from the attic. I attempted an assurance that there is no such thing as a stupid question, when he finished his query, “…what’s a retreat?”
I don’t believe I had ever asked that question before, taking an answer so much for granted, falling into the trap of presumption. A retreat was something we had in school, when some priest would talk to us every day, and we would be less noisy than usual, enjoying the suspension of regular class.
A retreat was something I did in community every year as a Religious Sister: someone preached every day, television dark, meals eaten in silence.
I remember the clay under the fingernails of the monk who celebrated Eucharist in the early morning in Mount Mellerary Abbey, the Cistercian Monastery in Waterford, when I went there for retreat one year. The words of another monk I visited for a daily chat still echo: “when you come up the hill from the guesthouse,” he said, “it is impossible to arrive in one leap.” I gave surface agreement, but with a heart, resistant to the truth, that I needed to take only one step at a time.
With the passage of years, retreats became more intentional, more creative in style. One on dreams, another exploring art, most touched by music, all graced by the gift of outdoor beauty. Some had a degree of direction (what’s direction?), and latterly, most involve silence…
Today, I am on the precipice of a 30-day retreat, my case still empty. Wavering between anxious trepidation and emerging hope, my friend’s question resounds like a yawning void, anticipating an inevitable drop, while hoping for a hushed whisper of promise or a vague impression of a secret smile.
I could cancel it, couldn’t I? Doesn’t retreat mean to back off or retrace one’s steps? Perhaps it could pass me by before catching me unawares, bringing me to a point of no return?
When birth begins there is no stopping it. Newness will emerge, be it stillbirth or a cry of new life. A risky business. Can I trust being carried by a passing updraft of warm, fresh air, a Godly guffaw, letting go hazardously into a freefall of previously unexplored emptiness?
I had one last swim in the pool this morning before venturing forth tomorrow. Only a few humans were enjoying the calm water so I didn’t need to be concerned that my still learning how to breathe style swimming would be in anyone’s way. Then, emerging from the pool, someone introduced herself, calling me by name. She has no idea how much that healed part of my self-doubt.
Next, I was welcomed into the sauna by some men I meet occasionally, in that steamy place of anonymity. Recklessly, I revealed my plans. A woman keeping silent for thirty days was the source of disbelieving laughter from one of them. A Godly guffaw! A sign! However, again, they will hardly know how I am touched by their words: they will miss me. The case is still to be packed, but that warm laughter has begun a hopeful tremor in my earth-quaking world.
Editor’s Note: Sr. Suzanne Ryder RSM is from the Western Province and this article is re-published with permission.
by Sr. Jo Anne Kelly MMM Ireland 04.12.2024
I occasionally dip into a favorite book of mine called “Gold in the Memories”, a book that sometimes helps me to find jewels in my own memories. One such memory came to me recently and to me it is precious.
I received a new and unexpected appointment to do with formation of young sisters. It was shortly after Vatican 11 and so much was changing. As yet no courses on Formation were available so I joined one of the first renewal courses for missionaries. I had never done any theological or scriptural studies and was apprehensive about going into this as I didn’t know what to expect.
On the opening day I arrived at the place, was welcomed, shown my room and invited in for a cup of tea. I went into that room, like a big kitchen, priests and sisters all around a long table all chatting and laughing as if they all knew each other. I was shy then and very self-conscious. I was handed a mug of tea and I tried to greet everyone generally. One man seemed to be the leader and put out his hand to welcome me. As I tried to greet him I tripped on his foot and my mug of tea spilled all over the place. I was mortified and started apologizing. To make light of it he said “O don’t worry that’s my cork leg, I have a cork leg” I was even more apologetic then. There was more laughter, then someone kindly said, “Don’t mind him – he is a Cork man.” It wasn’t a good start for me and I wondered how I was going to get through this whole month.
Of course, as I got to know the group there were others in the same boat as me. The lectures were good, there was a great atmosphere in the group. I made many friends. There one sister in particular, from the same mission area as myself. We became good friends for the rest of our lives, though we don’t meet now as we have grown old. Formation was not a topic mentioned but for me the course was certainly formative. I learnt a lot about myself. It, at least, opened me somehow to a new way of thinking for which I am still grateful.
The last Sunday of that month was a beautiful sunny day. One of the men had a car and invited four of us for a drive to Avoca, the place of “The Meeting of the Waters”. Here the Avonmore and Avon beg rivers meet to form the Avoca River. It was here that the famous Irish poet, Thomas Moore wrote the Irish song “The Meeting of the Waters” It is a place of great natural beauty. Being in the midst of it we were very aware of God, the Creator of so much beauty and prayed for a while.
I cannot remember everything exactly, but as we went down from the main road towards the waters there was a wall or a bridge and on it was written the words of that Irish song. A woman was there alone. She turned to us and said, I would love to sing this song. I don’t want to sing alone would you join me? We had one good singer and the rest of us could sing a bit. We agreed. She started, with a beautiful voice, obviously a professional singer. She encouraged us to sing out and we did with full voices, over the sound of the water. When we finished we stood in silence. Then all of a sudden there was a burst of applause behind us. A busload of American tourists had arrived up on the road. They came quietly down behind us. Thinking we were part of the tourist attraction, those who were late arriving asked us to sing it again! We explained what happened, but we did sing it again and some them joined in. It was a really touching experience.
And I will end my little story with the last verse of that lovely song, quite appropriate for today.
“Sweet Vale 0f Avoca how calm could I rest
In thy bosom of shade with the friends I love best
When the storms that we feel in this cold world will cease
And our hearts like our waters
Will mingle in peace.”
by Sr. Margaret Anne Meyer MMM USA 01.12.2024
I will never forget the solemn introduction given by the School of Tropical Medicine in Liverpool. We were assembled on an outside terrace and the band played “God Save the Queen”. I felt my heart racing. How could they have stolen our song? Then it dawned on me that we Americans were the stealers and used the same melody for “My Country Tis of Thee”.
This was followed by a ‘happy hour’ in which we met the various professors and laboratory assistants. Sister Marin Jones had told me about a good friend of hers to whom she sent slides of malaria parasites. We met easily, and I gave him Sister’s greetings. He told me he remembered her with admiration. I cannot remember his name now, but I remember our conversation. He told me he was an atheist but his friendship with Sister Mairin was his insurance card just to have if, when he died, he found out there were a God. I kept his words to tell Sister Mairin but was shocked to find out that he died of a heart attack that very night. We both prayed for him.
It was hard to settle in without Sister Deirdre Twomey, but I was happy to find that a Holy Rosary Sister Doctor de Paul who had worked in Kenya for many years, was an excellent companion. We did not live in the same residence but ate lunch together. She had many stories to tell me but the words I valued most were about how to go through the fright of not believing in yourself, that you are a qualified doctor and are able to work as one. She assured me everyone has to go through the process. I am grateful to her for this encouragement.
There were many Asian doctors from India and Myanmar doing the course. Some were perplexed and asked me how could Nelson’s Pillar be blown up in Dublin, in a catholic country? I had no answers, but duly told them I had climbed inside the Pillar twice as a tourist. I was wondering how the traffic would manage as all buses in those days seemed to be headed for the Pillar. They also asked a lot of questions about “The Sound of Music” film which had just come out in the cinema. At that time, it was not so easy to go to the movies. I cannot count the times I have seen it since!
I loved traveling on the bus from the Little Sisters of the Poor residence to the School of Tropical Medicine. The bus drivers would often call their passengers “Love”. One day I heard one shouting “Love, you are standing ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE STREET.” Love. Even the priests in confession would say “How long has it been, love?”
There were many places of interest to travel in Liverpool. I had the opportunity of ascending into a lift to get a closer look at the beautifully stained-glass circular window high above the altar of Liverpool Cathedral. So many shades of blue light radiated down on the main altar. The construction of the Cathedral was almost completed.
It was a great privilege to visit Sr. Anne Merriman’s mother who lived in the vicinity and was most welcoming to all of Anne’s friends.
All the Tropical Medicine subjects were extremely interesting. And we went into them in great detail. I was so happy that remedies were found to cure these diseases as so many of the first missionaries to Africa died of malaria and were sickened by the Tsetse fly.
We had to identify all these insects and one day we had a practical test. The last specimen was a joke. The head of a bumble bee was put on the body of the tsetse fly We could not identify it. The answer given was HUM BUG. One of the doctors from Myanmar said “Humbug? We have not studied Humbug. It is not fair.” We all roared laughing and tried to tell him it was a joke, and the results did not count for our final result.
After twelve weeks we took our final examination and most of us passed. It was time to prepare for the boat ride home to Drogheda and happily go to Uganda on Easter Monday. That is another story.
by Sr. Sheila Devane MMM Ireland 27.11.2024
Here in our parishes in Ireland we remember our deceased relatives, friends, neighbours and others in the month of November.
We do this in many ways: most churches offer paper lists on which you print the names of those you wish to be remembered and these are then placed before the altar. At most masses there is reference to those deceased people and often too a special mass during the month to remember all our dead. By now I have already written several such lists; I have even gone online and put names in churches and monasteries far away. As soon as I believe the task is done there is another death and in writing that name several others come to mind. This morning while leaving yet another list on the altar in Terenure College Chapel, where I pray, a thought of a different kind of death struck me and I wondered if there was any list or indeed anyone listening to this particular list. Can I share it with you?
This is a list of prayers too but it came about because of the several, now defunct items, here in the house in MMM Templeogue and of the people I have come to know because of these. William came here ten days ago to look at the dishwasher; an excellent model well past its ‘sell by’ date. Yes it has died. No resuscitation possible. There is a new arrival due next week. He asked me to pray for his sister with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a young woman with very tiny twins. He went to say her name, then cried, so I don’t know who she is but Jesus does.
Roger answered the phone of the Hoover Mending Co. in Clondalkin and agreed to look at my little carpet sweeper that was doing everything but what it needed to do i.e. clear up the fluff, crumbs, and carpet dirt! When I met him in person in the shop he said gruffly “a service is needed here“ don’t we all need them?! I agreed, very relieved that a repair was possible. Jason, his two-year-old grandson, is waiting for orthopaedic surgery in Ireland where the waiting list for such is several years long – I have been asked to pray for this request. I certainly will.
Ciarán came to fix the washing machine; a man who never had a lot of formal schooling but has great faith; he suggested we say a decade of the rosary before he began. I agreed and he took a very large set of rosary beads from his toolbox and we prayed together. This was a prayer experience I won’t ever forget. The pump is replaced, the machine working and I could now start a home launderette!
Gavin was going on holidays when I phoned him to say the boiler was not working and therefore I had no heating in November in Ireland; he immediately came along with his 11-year-old son in the van. The little boy wanted to hear “all about Africa” as his father told him that the lady he was going to meet had lived in Africa. I had a great chat with Freddie who said he would prefer to be going to Tanzania now that he knows so much about it instead of to Spain! I am hoping the heating can be fixed and for this I need your earnest prayers.
Yes, indeed, I have a long list of now deceased people to pray for this month; at one point in the past week or two, I felt the list of dying, defunct or dead household items was going to get as long! Thankfully, that hasn’t happened yet, but I now have some people to pray for who I haven’t met, a little boy wanting to hear more about our missions and so much to be grateful for even in this big, domestic mess.
by Sr. Jacinta Mahakwe MMM Nigeria 24.11.2024
Building connections and relationships is vital for our well-being and happiness. Connection provides a feeling of being part of something larger. After a long time on home leave, I returned to the community and my everyday life. It was my time to take up the house shopping for the month. Our neighbourhood has a grocery store with fresh and cheap foodstuffs. I got everything on my list and went to the counter to pay. There was a smiling face waiting for me. She said, “My friend, it has been a long time. You frequent our shop, but I haven’t seen you for a while. I didn’t know who to ask after you. I missed your smiles and friendly look, my sister.”
I was full of surprise. Feedback from others helps us understand ourselves and I so much appreciated her remarks. Oh, the little moments that slip by. Excited, I told her that I visited my country for the holidays and spent a few months there. She asked questions about my family. She shares some interesting stories she heard about my country in the social media and wanted to learn more. I enquired about her family and work. We exchanged names, contacts and shared ideas and experiences, maintaining connections while learning something new each day from each other.
There are a lot of things lacking in our world today. Some are material, while some are not. Hunger to be seen and heard, hunger for friendship. Mine too, was satisfied. Relationships expose us to new experiences, diversity and knowledge. I learnt more about her while sharing about myself. S he is my friend, yes, my sister. The experience challenges me to engage fully with others, show understanding and compassion, spend time with loved ones, and express appreciation for others. Reaching out and connecting with others builds stronger, more supportive communities and improve communication and conflict resolution. Relationship offer comfort, empathy, and guidance. Investing in connections and relationships enriches our lives and fosters a sense of purpose. Nurture your relationships and prioritize building new ones.
Thank you, my friend, for noticing.
by Nadia Ramoutar MMM Communications Coordinator Ireland 20.11.2024
As we get closer to the end of the year, I look forward to Advent and to a winding down of a lot of busyness. But, looking around in the world, there seems to be a lot of noise and I do predict that some of the peace we might want for the season won’t be coming. At least not everywhere. Somethings feel so far gone that peace is more a concept than a reality.
Looking at what it means to be a Christian has also come under fire lately. Political battles have had some casualties and in some families and friend groups there has been a lot of hostility. We could ask ‘what will it take to overcome this?’
Perhaps at times like this the best thing to do is to fall back to basics. What does the Lord require of me? The answer is literally given to us in Micah 6:8.
‘What does the Lord require of you
But to do justice and to love kindness
And to walk humbly with your God.’
It could not really be more straightforward. We are given a very clear request that seems to cause humans a lot more trouble than would be expected. So when there is angst and we are provoked or annoyed by other people, this is such an important reminder for us to simplify. We can be easily manipulated or upset sometimes because we are not being as kind to ourselves as we could be. Self-care is an important practice in being able to walk humbly.
Going for a walk and making it part of our daily spiritual practice can be a great choice as it allows us to reconnect with nature and to breathe fresh air. We may find ourselves less aggravated when we ‘do justice’ and make choices based on this. Justice as a something we do, not just think is very important.
As stress increases and we get caught up in what other people are saying, we might feel entitled to be unkind or to not take action at all. There is no doubt that some people would literally annoy a Saint. In knowing our own limits and our own triggers we can shift our focus and look for glimmers of love and hope instead.
To love kindness is a great goal on the worst of days. It is a short cut to freedom from oppressive negativity. We can win every time when we chose to be kind. It is always a choice available to us.
by Sr. Liana de Jesus MMM Brazil/USA 17.11.2024
Life is rooted in nature – always in the process of growth.
Our life is like a plant, the relationship is very similar. When a plant is a seed, it needs someone to water it until it grows and becomes strong. When a baby is born, he/she needs someone to care for him/her until it grows. As human beings, we are like a plant which needs all loving care. God has given us the freedom to choose what type of plant we want to be in in order to flourish in life.
Do we want to be like a beautiful flower that needs to be cared for our whole life? Do we want to have someone always giving us water, and food and putting us in the sun’s direction? As human people, we need to develop our deep senses of humility and acceptance that we do need each other and should be the source for others to grow as well. One only can be strong like the trees in the forest because they have other trees, to give support when the wind is strong, otherwise they could easily fall. The tree by itself looks for what it needs to grow strong. When growing between the stones, it looks for the spaces that it needs to survive. For the roots to grow deeper it needs water and for the trunk to grow tall it needs to move in the direction of the sun.
Again, like nature, which takes responsibility for the tree’s growth, we too are responsible for our lives and health to grow and to flourish. It does not matter what type of tree you may become a bamboo tree or a mango tree; even if you have a thunderstorm the tree continues to grow strong as it cared for. In our lives, we may need to develop our connection with nature and become aware that we need to believe that God is in control and will never let us down. Our roots are deep, and we will be able to accept the thunder in our lives and will be ready when the time of death comes.
Every person in life has their process and purpose for being born, the grace to grow old, and to die gracefully. If we were conscious of our connectedness with nature our lives would be fruitful and joyful as we relate with other living beings. Let us care for our nature and the life on it.
by Sr. Sheila Devane MMM Ireland 13.11.2024
Editor’s Note: Sr. Mary Ellen Sambuco died in September 2024. As a young Sister, she had been missioned in Malawi and you can read her obituary on our website.
Mary Ellen and I were born in the same year 1945, and each of us was born in one place and moved to another in childhood. We entered MMM the same year 1968, were trained nurses when we joined MMM and as MMMs we both trained as midwives and were first missioned missioned to East Central Africa.
I was the first MMM Mary Ellen met when she came to Ireland – I wish I knew the year exactly but it was winter as you will read; I was sent to the airport to collect her and was supposed to have a companion but at the last minute it was decided as she would have a lot of luggage it would be best if I went alone.
The weather forecast was dreadful by Irish standards: very cold, sleet, light sprinkles of snow, and slippery roads and more to come. At that time, we had no motorways and so I travelled along pretty slowly through the towns of North Dublin to the airport.
While on board the Aer Lingus flight Mary Ellen heard the announcement of seriously bad weather in Ireland, with snow in some places, risky road conditions and a warning to people to only undertake essential travel. Passengers were warned to only travel out of the airport if absolutely necessary. She was reared in Pennsylvania so she had a picture of really bad weather, snow drifts, feet high snow, snow ploughs, cars stuck on highways and much more.
We easily recognised each other in the airport and came outside to cross over to the high-rise car park; I noticed her looking around and taking all in. I paid the parking fee; we got going and headed back on the road home. I believed I was driving on really hazardous roads and felt nervous of skidding or worse for most of the journey.
At about Julianstown Mary Ellen said quietly to me….”We had this announcement on the flight about terrible weather and high-risk road conditions; I thought they were talking about Ireland but I was probably half asleep, thankfully the roads are fine but I see you have a little dusting of snow.”
Well, it’s all about perception isn’t it?! Every time we met afterwards (and we only met a few times) we talked about this journey and laughed heartily.
I offer this memory as a little consolation to the family, friends and MMM community of this lovely woman who first told me, an Irishwoman, about really bad weather!
by Sr. Margaret Anne Meyer MMM USA 10.11.2024
With the happy memories of our joyous goodbye embraces at Dublin Airport, I began to prepare for my departure for Uganda. I was fitted for lighter clothes in the sewing room and began hemming some new white veils. Sewing name tapes on white stockings and other garments occupied the time I was not praying with the Community or attending teaching sessions in the hospital. I was getting used to this way of life as preparation for finally going to Africa after ten years of training to be useful.
Then the news came that the Sisters would like me to study Tropical Medicine because they had a lay doctor from Canada who was not finished his contract and would be there another four months. I was disappointed but this was in our training to be ready for changes in the spirit of Our Blessed Mother, going in haste to visit her cousin, Elizabeth.
Advent was approaching and I looked forward to my second Christmas in Drogheda. A few days before Christmas, I was asked to go to the Communications Department in Bettystown to spend Christmas with the Sisters living in St. Ursula’s. It was a different house than the one there now but just as welcoming. I had never been at the sea at Christmas time, and this was a very memorable time for me. Sr. Catherine who was my first Superior in Rosemount, heartily welcomed me to celebrate Christmas with them. Sr Philomena Doyle and others were there. They all seemed glad of my company and I theirs.
I remember going to bed for a few hours before Midnight Mass which was celebrated in our chapel. When I woke up, I felt I was in a tray of ice cubes in the refrigerator. We dressed quickly and I felt remarkably close to Jesus as he was born in a cold stable. It was an incredibly beautiful experience for all of us. We enjoyed a hot cup of tea and Christmas cake afterwards and returned to bed.
Christmas dinner felt like home, being in a small but loving community. The Sisters were open to having me put on a play of the Light House Keeper’s Daughter which we had put on as novices in Winchester. The Sisters said their parts which I wrote for them and Sister Ann O’Gorman mimed climbing up and down the steps of the lighthouse. There were a lot of laughs, and it brightened the afternoon.
Soon it was time to return to Drogheda. When I reached there, Mother Mary sent for me and said that she wanted to take me to the Nigerian Embassy to get a visa to go to Nigeria. I said “Yes, Mother, but I thought I was going to Liverpool to do Tropical Medicine?” She told me that Sr. Doctor Anne Merriman hurt her back, and I might have to go to Nigeria to relieve her. I said “Yes, Mother” and off we went. The plan was for me to travel with Sr. Doctor Deirdre Twomey to Liverpool and wait for a call to go to Nigeria, if I were needed. That is what we did, but it happened in a different and surprising way.
We had settled in nicely to the Little Sisters of the Poor who had given Deirdre and me hospitality for 12 weeks to do our course when Deirdre received the telephone call from Mother Mary. I had told Deirdre what Mother Mary told me that I may have to leave the course. Deirdre said, “Mother, don’t you mean Sr. Margaret Anne?”, and Mother said, “No dear I mean you.” Sr. Doctor Marcella Duffy is extremely ill, and I want you to go to Nigeria to take her place. We were both flabbergasted. However, Deirdre was on the boat to Dublin, the next day. I missed her very much, but we met up again after 25 years and continued our Twomey-Meyer friendship in Nigeria and beyond I will continue about Tropical Medicine School in another story.
by Nadia Ramoutar MMM Communications Coordinator Ireland 06.11.2024
For many of us, faith is an important part of our everyday life. We have a rich inner circle of like-minded colleagues and friends who see the world as we do often. We have a consistent practice of prayer, meditation and connection with a greater spiritual world to feed our faith. As we step outside of that comfort zone though, it can be very easy to feel that all is not well in our world.
Just a quick glimpse at the nightly news or a conversation with a neighbour and we can be quickly transported into a world where fear and scarcity reign. At times we can look at the way the world appears to be headed, and we can find ourselves concerned, worried or even scared. It is not easy to stay buoyant when so much of the world seems to be on fire or being run by those who value power over people.
On days when darkness seems to creep in, what are we to do? Even the most faithful can feel a twinge of shadows taking hold. The way humans behave, manipulate, act violently and cruelly can overwhelm us if we let us.
Perhaps the most honest thing we can do is to be honest.
The answer is surprisingly simple when faced with a challenge to say, “I would like to do that – but now, I must do this.” To accept that even though we have faith we also have to have acceptance that in our world we are faced with realities that sometimes we just don’t like. Humans often do the wrong thing. We are also dealing with people who do not see the world the way we see it but have some other agenda we cannot fathom. Thankfully. But humans too, can be exceedingly kind and giving.
I reflect at these moments that there is unexpected goodness awaiting us. It is not just bad things going on in the world, but also good things. We have to right-side ourselves and know that the unknown is not all negative. It is a great light that creates shadows and as the light shifts, so do the shadows in size and position. We need to refocus our energy.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Romans 15:13
These words bring me comfort as I remind myself to have more trust and to lean further into my “God of Surprises.” I read a book by this title a few years ago and I dip back into it and I remind myself not to allow the shadow to block out my light. I may be misunderstood or frustrated at times, but this is merely a tiny part of something so much greater.
