by MMM Medical Students 1969                                     Ireland                 01.11.2023

After some time studying textbooks, we, students, almost feel that we could publish one ourselves.  Not for us the dull, technical language of the usual textbooks.  Instead, we would show more consideration towards our fellow students and try to make them, and our study hours, less tedious and more relaxing.  We could even look forward to the hours that have to be spent pouring over our books.  Take, for example, Anatomy.  We would style it as follows: –

Mr. Muscle :  Hello, Mr. Bone, my name is Muscle.  Where do you fit into this fascinating planet called the body?

Mr. Bone :   Oh! Mr. Muscle, I belong to the upper limb, my name is Humerus, although people do call me “the funny bone”, that is  because a nerve runs just behind me and when it gets a knock it gives people a funny sensation.  It usually gets knocked up against me and then people think that I am the cause of it.  My domain stretches from the shoulder down to the elbow.

Mr. Muscle:  Oh, then you know quite a few of my type?

Mr. Bone:   Yes, I have some of your friends around me.  It is hard to believe, there must be at least five of your closest friends keeping me company, and a few more down by the elbow which I don’t know quite so well.

Mr. Muscle:  How do you get on with them?  You differ so much.

Mr. Bone:   I must say they are very good neighbours, and we work very well together.  You see, I am a very popular bone, and they all cling to me at some point or other.

Mr. Muscle: With all those admirers, surely there must be some jealousy among them?

Mr. Bone:  Well, let’s say some are complementary to others.  When we are working together I get pulled around quite a lot; however, this works out all right and I always get back to my rightful position where I can relax.  You see, when the muscles in front are working, those behind are relaxed and vice versa.  So you see we are all good friends and only for them I would not be able to move at all.

Mr. Muscle:  I must say you are a handsome fellow.

Mr. Bone:   Yes, indeed, as you can see, though I have a smooth bald head and I must always wear a hat of cartilage.  It is a bit embarrassing to be bald, especially if I am not very old.  Unlike you, Mr. Muscle, I have a long, hard body.  However, inside it all, I am even softer than you are yourself.  So, you see, even though I show great strength, I can be broken.  You know, in the beginning I was smooth and sleek the whole way down.  But now, since I have grown up, my muscle friends like me so much that they pull me this way and that, and, a result, I have humps and bumps all in the wrong places!  Like the ones your friends Deltoid and Coraco have left on me.  Luckily enough, they are both on opposite sides although they are not quite at the same level.  But most people would not notice the asymmetry unless I told them.  Still, people laugh at me and say “No figure”!

Mr. Muscle :  I must say you keep your shape very well, though I just cannot. Every time I move, I change my appearance.

Mr. Bone:  Oh, yes! I do all right and I have a unique ending.  It is quite a pretty shape really, although some rude people have likened it to a pulley (trochlea).  Can’t blame them, I suppose!

Mr. Muscle:  You have plenty of muscles close to you.  How about your own family?  Have you any of them close at hand?

Mr. Bone:   Oh yes! My closest relatives are Scapula, Radius and Ulna.  Scapula is that broad fellow around the corner….er…er….I mean the shoulder.  Radius and Ulna are both down below me, separating me from the wrist and the hand.  So there, Mr. Muscle, that is my story.  Bet yours is not so interesting!  Gosh, I think I better move now as I feel your friends pulling me.   ‘Bye for now, hope to see you soon again.